The Dick Pic Dilemma

Alright gentlemen, buckle up (literally) because this one is for you! Please take this as an imperative PSA.

It’s no secret that dick pics have been circulating the internet for way too long now and it’s time to put your twig and berries back into your pants and put this matter to rest…once and for all. According to www.pewresearch.org, 57% of women report being sent sexually explicit messages or images that they did not ask for. The key words here are “did not ask for”. 60% of female users 18 to 34 said that despite telling the person that they were no longer interested, they continued to receive messages. Not cool, boys. No means no whether it’s in person, through text, or via carrier pigeon.

What do women do with these unsolicited works of art?

1: Hit delete immediately

2: Glance at it, compare it to her ex’s trouser snake, and then hit delete immediately

3: Look at it in disgust (possibly even dry heave), followed by hitting delete immediately

4: Look at it while suddenly becoming sad about how long it’s been since she’s had sex and then hit delete immediately

5: Laugh uncontrollably and then hit delete immediately

6: Send it to friends via group chat, so they can all make fun of it together and then hit delete immediately

Yes, there may be one or two women who respond positivity to your glorious man bits, but that is definitely not the majority. The important thing that I need to point out here is that there’s a difference between getting an unwanted DP from a stranger and a sexual photo from your partner. When you are involved in a casual or committed relationship with someone, sending sexy photos and text messages can be a complete turn-on and is usually welcomed. It can build anticipation and excitement, get your partner horny, keep a long distance relationship fun, and be a great masturbation tool when your partner is not around; but a close up of a strangers knob-selfie, sadly, does not have the same effect.

Remember, most women are not as visual as men, so an image of a stand alone body part (no pun intended) may not have the same effect without the mental and emotional stimulation to go with it. You know, like using your words.

So, why do men feel the urge to send them?

There are many reasons men may send dick pics. It can act as a confidence boost, they enjoy the reaction they get from women (good or bad), it’s exciting to put it out there for the world to see, it may turn them on, it’s just plain fun, they’re bored and have nothing better to do, they’re compensating for the things they may lack… and, for a small percentage of men, I think they truly believe that this method actually works. So, if this sounds like you and it’s your way of trying to find true love, I highly recommend putting this method on the back burner. It will be a weird story to tell your kids when they ask how mom and dad met.

Full disclosure, I never hit delete. I have personally saved all the dick pics that I have ever received in a Dropbox folder named “Not the first, won’t be the last”, so that one day I can make a coffee table book for my guests to browse through, and to commemorate all the years of douchebaggery I’ve endured. #truestory

Written by: Shantelle Canzanese