Updated: Mar 4
We all know that workplace romances can be exciting! They can cause you to look forward to going to work every morning and break up the monotony of your day, but can also be quite complicated at times. Are you into your female co-worker, but find yourself wondering, "Does my coworker like me?" Let's break down the possible scenarios.
You don't want to put yourself out there, only to be rejected, followed by awkward interactions at work and gossiping around the water cooler. Now, let's say that she does feel the same way and you both agree to try a relationship and then it ends in a horrible mess. Not the most ideal situation, especially if you love where you work. The hypothetical flip side of this, is that you both feel the same way, your relationship turns out to be a success and you end up getting married and riding into the sunset together in complete bliss (cue the cheesy rom-com music).
The bottom line is that there are pros and cons to each scenario, but you will never know the outcome until you take a chance. Here are 22 signs a coworker is attracted to you. These flirty signs will bring you clarity about whether or not your female coworker sees you in her future, or if she's just looking for a work husband. If you're picking up on these signs correctly, you should also be able to dodge that dreaded rejection.
Subtle Signs A Female Coworker Likes You
#1: She smiles at you
I'm not talking about that little smirk she gives when passing every other colleague in the hallway while saying good morning under her breath. I'm talking about when you walk into the room and she lights up and smiles from ear to ear, or when she can't help herself smiling while listening to you speak. Look around the office and notice the way Fran, the 60 year old from accounting smiles at you, compared to how your possible crush smiles at you. There's a big difference, you just have to pay attention to it!
#2: She finds reasons to be around you
Have you ever noticed that when you're in the kitchen making a coffee, she happens to be in the kitchen as well warming up her lunch? Or that you seem to ride the elevator together A LOT ? If these things happen all the time, they're not coincidences. When a female enjoys your company, she will go out of her way to spend time with you, even if that means making an extra trip to the bathroom, just so she can bump into you in the hallway.
#3: She makes eye contact
Do you look across the room and catch that female coworker gazing at you? Does she hold that gaze just a little bit longer than usual, or smile and blush out of embarrassment when you make eye contact? When women find someone really attractive, or are thinking about them, they gaze at them sometimes without even noticing. Believe me, it's a good sign!
#4: She makes physical contact
Not all women are affectionate, but when we have a crush on someone and we want them to know, we tend to be a bit more touchy-feely. If she reaches out and touches your arm while laughing at one of your horrible dad jokes, fixes your hair when it's out of place, or pulls her chair up so close that your legs are brushing against each other, these are definitely signs of flirting. Ask yourself, does she do this with everyone in the office? If not, your co-worker might like you.
#5: She compliments you
It feels good to compliment someone, especially when it puts a smile on their face and boosts their confidence. When she compliments a picture on your desk, or the new shirt you're wearing to work, or the way you laugh, she's doing it intentionally. Women notice the little things and verbal affirmations are just another form of flirting.
#6: She talks about you to other coworkers
This is definitely not the most obvious way of letting someone know that you like them, but in a shared environment, such information is bound to travel. When a woman is digging on a man, she enjoys talking about him and wants to share those feelings with her work friends. Was she hoping that it would remain a secret, or secretly hoping that it would be leaked to you? It doesn't even matter. Either way, she's talking about you in a positive light and that's a great sign.
#7: When other people in the office are starting to notice
We usually believe that we have our crush under wraps, but it's far more noticeable than we think. Besides, the long days can get boring, so gossiping about love affairs within the office kills the time. If your colleagues are noticing, then she is being pretty obvious. It also usually means that they see the chemistry and energy between the two of you. So, if you're worried about the boss finding out, don't bother. They usually know before you do ;)
#8: She does sweet things
Nothing says I like you, like a coffee delivery in the morning, or a note on your desk when you're having a stressful day. The fact that she memorized your coffee order and is thinking about you before she even gets to work and went out of her way to make your stress filled day a little bit better, means a lot. If she was bringing coffees to everyone in the office on a daily basis, I would say that she's just a really nice person and maybe the gesture is just friendly, but if it's only for you, she obviously thinks that you stand out in the crowd.
#9: She remembers details about you
How many conversations have you had at work just to pass the time, or to be nice to that new hire, only to forget everything they told you the very next day? Why is that? Sometimes we're not giving that person 100% of our attention because we're not invested and besides, it's just small talk right? Well, if she remembers stories that you've told her, facts about your upbringing and the goals you have for your future, that means that she's giving you her undivided attention. She's invested in getting to know you better.
#10: She gives you a nickname
Whether you like her chosen nickname for you or not, it's still endearing. A nickname is very similar to a pet name in the sense that it's personalized and something only you two share. If she's come up with a nickname for the two of you as a pair, even better! It may be cheeky, embarrassing, or even nerdy, but if it makes you laugh, then her attempts are working. Pay attention to the meaning behind the nickname too.
#11: She sits next to you at lunch, or in a meeting
This seems like a pretty subtle sign, but it's just another attempt to be close to you and possibly finish that conversation from earlier. There are multiple seats in the board room to choose from and even more lunch options, but she chose to sit beside YOU. When someone wants to spend time with you, it's usually because you make them feel good. Maybe you make her laugh, or make her feel safe, or give her those nervous feelings. Either way keep doing what you're doing, because it's working.
#12: She remembers special occasions
When we were kids birthdays were a BIG deal. Your parents would pick a theme and invite all your school friends over to celebrate. The older we get the less flashy these birthday celebrations become and they tend to be more intimate. Heck, you're lucky if your parents call you and your workplace includes you in the office calendar. It's a nice gesture, but who really cares if Brad, the new intern turned 25 today, am I right? If your female coworker remembers your birthday, gets you a little gift, or even plans a work party for you, that's a sign that she's interested in you.
#13: She's nervous when you're around
Just because your female co-worker might like you, it doesn't mean that she wants you to know that she feels this way. She may be embarrassed about her feelings, not comfortable exploring a relationship at the office, unsure that you feel the same way, or may just be tongue tied when you're around. In this case she may avoid eye contact, her body language might shift away from you and you will notice signs of nervousness when you're around.
#14: Her voice changes
There is definitely a difference between the way we speak to our boss and the way we speak to our loved ones. When she's speaking to you, does her speech pattern slow down, her pitch get a little higher and her words more intentional? These are all things that can shift when we're talking to someone that we care about. Also, notice how talkative she is before and after you join a group conversation. She may seem more engaged once you show up.
Obvious Signs A female Coworker Likes You
#15: She asks personal questions
We don't just ask anyone at the office about their friend group, family dynamics, hobbies, passions and future goals. Water cooler talk usually consists of, "How was your weekend?", "What did you have for breakfast?", or "Did you get that project done?" When a female coworker is asking you intimate questions like the ones above, it means that she cares and wants to get to know you on a deeper level. Why does she do this? To gain more insight, so she can ultimately find out if you're compatible. The deeper the questions, the deeper the connection can go.
#16: She is flirty
There are so many ways a woman can flirt, that's why men don't always recognize the signs. Sometimes the flirt signs are a bit more subtle, like making prolonged eye contact, smiling, playing with her hair or necklace, leaning into you when you speak and finding moments to make physical contact. Other times they can be a bit more obvious, like complimenting you, sending you selfies, initiating plans and even making sexual passes. These are all signs that a female is into you, but it can sometime be unclear if it's just a physical attraction, or if she's thinking long term.
#17: She makes an effort to look good at work
I'm sure she was attractive from the very start. After all, that's why you're trying to decipher the signs she's giving, or not giving off, but if all of a sudden you notice that she's putting a little more effort into the way she looks at work, this is a good indication that she might feel the same way. We've all done it before. We've put a little more time into styling our hair, tried a new colour of lipstick, or took more time to pick out our outfit to impress that special someone. Just like many animals in the wild begin to put on a show during mating season, we tend to change our demeanor as well, so keep an eye out for these little clues.
#18: She texts you outside of work
Sure, maybe you both exchanged numbers one day because you had to complete a work assignment together and the deadline forced you to communicate outside of work. But once that assignment was complete, did she delete your phone number and never speak to you again? Did she keep you in her contacts for strictly work related matters? If she has been texting you outside of work hours and about topics that have nothing to do with work, this is an obvious sign that she wants to keep the communication and momentum going.
#19: She sticks up for you at work
It's much easier to stay far away from the workplace politics. Most of us don't want to get involved in issues that can affect office dynamics, or eventually get us fired. Sometimes we can get wrapped up in the gossip if we're in the same room and we happen to agree with what's being said, but it is rare to be in the same room, disagree with what is being said and have the guts to speak up about it. Why? Because that person is taking a risk by going against the groups opinions or statements and it can put their relationships in jeopardy. They can easily become the target after publicly admitting that they care for that person enough to stand up for them. This can be a bold move in the workplace, but it says a lot.
#20: She wants to be alone with you
When friends ask you out for drinks after work, it's usually at the local bar and with a group of people. It's an excuse to unwind after a busy day and connect with friends outside of your typical setting. Now, if your female coworker is inviting you out for a coffee before work, out for lunch, or out for drinks after work and these invites happen to be for just the two of you, that means she wants alone time with you. There are things that she can't do, or say at work, so being alone in a different setting allows for more affection and deeper conversations. Don't be that guy who always invites a friend along to make the situation more comfortable. Allow for some time alone, to see if the intimacy grows.
#21: She worries about you
If you're really late for work does she text you to make sure you're okay? If you're away from work for a few days because you're sick, does she check up on you, or offer to deliver soup? These are signs that she cares about you and your health and are definitely signs that she likes you.
Smack You In The Face Kind Of Signs A Female Coworker Likes You
#22: She asks you out!
This is usually done by a confident, assertive woman that knows what she wants and doesn't see a good reason not to. However, this method is also used by the woman who is fed up with giving you sign after sign and you're still not picking up what she's putting down. These are no longer subtle signs your coworker has feelings for you, we know she does! This is without a doubt your opportunity to finally go out with that beautiful colleague that you have been wondering about for a while now.
You are officially armed with 22 signs to look out for at your workplace. Just remember, if you're noticing only one or two of these signals, it may just be a friendly interaction. If you notice 10 or more of these signals, then you are on the right track.
Just be cautious when exploring a work place relationship. Always communicate clearly with one another about your intentions, take things slowly to really see if this is something worth exploring and create boundaries for when you're working. If done properly, an office romance, can be exciting, fulfilling, uncomplicated and long term. Just don't forget to inquire about your company policies in regards to dating coworkers first. You may think that you can keep it a secret, but that is usually harder than it seems and may not be worth the risk. Good luck!